Enough of the Nonsense!

Now, I am really sick and tired of Korean guys. Period. I have gotten terribly involved with my language exchange partner in the past month(who incidently is from Korea and looks somewhat similiar to the actor above). Somehow, the lack of logic of the male Korean has stimied me again.


The kicker for me is the "lure" of the Korean guy. What girl wouldn't be thrilled when someone always automatically carries their book bag/gym bag/parcels? They don't offer, they just grab the bags without hesitation. The 4--6 text messages a day, with sweet words that all girls love to hear, is also wonderful. Having a guy who's tall, beautiful thick and wavy jet-black hair and has a natural talent for dressing well sure seals the deal. It's always fun to explore the city with someone who's new to it and is polite enough to do whatever "I" want...how many guys would sit in my favorite cafes and sip cappicinos for days on end? Can I mention the variations on "romantic expression" are very different from the typical Canadian norm. He would always go out of the way...even ride an extra hour on the transit system to drop me off in my neighbourhood.

Anyway, things are starting to SUCK. From out of nowhere comes all this shit. It was light, airy, fun and romantic times. Then, he turns "MR SERIOUS". All of a sudden, he mentions that he has mentioned me to his brother, sisiter-in-law, sister #2 in Korea. They are not happy with his choice...what would his mother say..apparently, it's a sin to be in a relationship with someone who has children and is a few years older than him. All I can say is HOLY SHIT, get a life. The guy is 35, and he can't make his own decisions. It's just getting stupid(more stupid). Yes, it's their culture, I have heard it on all the expat blogs. But to actually experience this in person is a joke! All my life, I have made a stand for guys of other cultures than my own...stood up to my own parents even and have almost been excommunicated. But I am an individual and I take pride in expressing myself. My mind is blown that I am being stood up on trial, before a judge and jury, just for being myself...white, middle aged and with kids. It's like being on the Gong-Show, having that "cane of shame" come out from the sidelines and pull me off stage. And then, he has become very serious about his future, his success that he is banking on as a writer when he returns back to Korea, how he should really spend more time writing and speaking English to as many people as possible. Yes, brush-off perhaps but maybe it's just his true personality. Maybe all asian guys learn how to charm in the beginning, but when their realy personality comes out, it's not very wonderful at all.

All I can say is FUCK IT.  I would rather walk along with my integrity and individuality.

Sometimes though, I wish I was blind, so I wouldn't have to look at these handsome Asian guys and think of possibilities...I seem to get burned everytime.

Just Tired

Sometimes, I get very tired of relating to others. It's very exhausting...both emailing regularly and talking face to face with someone. Right now, the worst is in "romantic" or "potentially romantic" situations, especially with Korean guys.

The worst thing is that I have a lot of inside information from bloggers about the attitudes behaviours of Korea guys that they have encoutered while living in Korea. This infomation is always in my mind and inhibits my regualar spontanaiety when I try to think of topics to talk about. The second worse is what about the attitudes and behavious of younger Korean women. I am not trying to be like them and never will. But I can't help but wonder if the "cute-sy" and childish behaviour is something that Korean guys expect. I am the furthest from cutesy, coy, kittenish...however you want to describe it.  Somedays, I am so tomboy that I wonder how many people may speculate that I am a biker dyke(not that there is anything wrong with that...
I am a supporters of peoples' choices and the sexuality of their choice).
I am not fancy, I am polite and pleasant but will tell it like it is when I have to. From trial and error, my limited experience with  Korean guys shows that they don't like hearing the uncut, unedited truth about reality, especially if it has to do with their misbehaviour...they do not  have the spirit of generosity with apologies or admitting their mistakes.

One of the best things about getting older is that I realize that I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not. Sure, I might lose a few potential mates along the way, but hey, I've got to be me regardless of how good looking, intelligent and charming someone is and how much I would be thrilled to be included in their life. Because isn't a relationship really about what goes on inside a person and not about who they "pretend to be"?

Plain Big Meanies in Korean Society

My friend in Korea is short. Let's say 5'6, and that's being generous. So what's the big deal, right? People come and all shapes and sizes...that's what makes the world go 'round. That's why I love Canada, because wherever you go, you see all types of people and there aren't people otherse standing around pointing fingers and saying "oh...look at THAT person...they are so _____". Sure, there are some a-hole who might say something rude and redneck out loud when someone doesn't fit the impossible image of Hollywood or other unacheivable media images. In Korea, being a short male was apparently similar to a social death sentence.

In Seoul, it was was a HUGE shock. In general, they are obsessed with appearance, and not only in regards to fashion. I found out that people stared at people who weren't skeleton thin. Even my friend would stop and stare and say "look at that". I found that shocking and childish. I'm no lightweight and could just imagine what people were thinking of me. I rationalized it that people were soo poor in recent past, that they didn't have enough food to eat so this concenpt of "thin is wonderful" must have stuck with them. Plus, my friend was "food crazy". He would talk about food with such passion. I'm a foodie, but the lust for food that this guy had was prettty crazy . He could describe meals in his imagination with a crazy, glazed over look in his eyes. To him, the concept of "all you can eat seafood buffets" like it was heaven...apparently he had never been to one and that was his ultimate "food goal". It was pretty crazy...I felt a lot of guilt as I have been eating chinese food buffets and mainstream buffets all my life(I was just at an "all you can eat sushi" place last night). I then found out that he grew up in a very poor environment. I asked about his childhood and he said all that he can remember as a youngster was that he "cried alot because there wasn't enough food". Holy Shit! I felt bad. In my family, we always had food...it was something that I always took for granted growing up....that's when I developed my love for daily chocolate cake!

I asked why eveyone seemed to accept plastic surgery. The answer I got was that society was so competitive that everyone wanted to get any type of edge they could. Then my guy asked me why I didn't have the mole on my face removed by plastic surgery yet? I was shocked, as I never that that the mole detracted too much from my appearance...I rather liked it as it made me a bit unique, part of my identifiable physical markings that may be required to recognize my body one day. I explained that the mole was part of me and that it's OK not to have a perfect complection. I was given a shrug in response.

Ok, here's where I present "the biggie". The biggie, that left me totally speechless and feeling unbelievably horrible was this...my guy was beaten by his peers, classmate AND TEACHERS because he was a short and thin male until his university years. I didn't want to pry too much, but even with the limited information he shared made me  feel physically ill. He suffered so much  just for being short. He had no protection, not even from his teachers. He tried to find an excuse, blaming that he didn't have enough nutrition growing up to grow tall and strong. I felt terrible. I tried to console him but I'm not a therapist...what could I say? All I could give is a hug, say "I am so sorry that this happened to you" and lend an ear. All I could think of is Canada in this day and age there are soo many ways that we try to protect the children from bullying and abuse...public service announcments for The Kids Help Phone, rules for teacher-student contact, law enforcement visiting parents who have reportedly abused their kids and taking them into custody if required and the general public reporting beatings of children in public places.

MY GOD, how can Korea, such an advanced and industrialized country, be sooooo backwards? Why bother with the technology, the plastic surgery, the high standards in education if  there is no basic respect and compassion for people, especially the most vulnerable?

No wonder my guy lied on his online profile and said he was 5'9.....

Words That Usually Don't Go Together

I just saw this image upon a website while I was searching for images of frowing older Korean men for my last enty. It is a gem as the header was " There is a particularly handsome homeless man in China."

Here's a bit of the content of the blog:


"And people are FREAKING OUT about it.


Web forum locals in China have dubbed the sultry street walker “Brother Sharp”, apparently with reference to his hauntingly good looks and snappy avant garde dressing style."

I believe that there could be good-looking people in all walks of life. Usually, the last thing that I appraise of a homeless person is their looks.

Hopefully with all this attention, this guy might gain some favour with someone who has the power and influence to pull him out of his poverty and help him get back on his feet again.

You Know, it's funny....

No disrepect , Rev. Sun Myung Moon, I just needed a male Korean frowny face

In Korea, I noticed that the most Korean men over 45 had a very stern and grumpy personality. I never had any luck with taxi drivers or shop keepers even remotely cracking a smile or even interested in me as a consumer...only when I was inquiring about a $100 bottle of Camus from one of the vendors. Why was it that my Korean guy could get information from them so easily, even get a smile...mind you, it took a lot of gestures and bowing on his behalf, but he still got a good reply. So, I generalized  that older generation Korean men have an angry attitude. I don't usually do that, as I like to give people a fair go to prove themselves, but after seeing so much evidence, I couldn't conclude that the opposite was true. I didn't even encounter 1 friendly, older guy in Seoul from the thousands of older guys in Seoul which ran across my path in Seoul!

Then in my TESL class this week, my teacher said that her worst case teaching scenerio was with an older Korean student whom she grouped together with a younger Japanese student. The topic was "discuss you best and worse vacations". I know you can guess what happened....the older Korean told the Japanese student that visiting Japan was his absolute worse vacation and did not restrain his opinion about the terrible feelings he had about Japan and that Japanese people are no good. My teacher said that she listened in horror, as the older Korean student continued to raise his voice about the topic while berating the poor, innocent Japanese language student, who sat in shock as the downward spiral of his good times at english language school in Toronto. The teacher said that she did her best to redirect the class and carry on but was soo shocked at how someone could be so rude and indignant toward another student that she couldn't regroup.

Nooo! How terrible. There goes another balloon bursted in my defense for South Korea. How can someone  NOT KNOW that one should keep their opinion to themselves, that this is Canada, and that everyone from around the world is equally welcome here. How could someone be that clueless and insensitive.

The more I am finding out about various Korean temperments and attitudes, the less I find that I am liking the idea to go there again, actually.

You Lucky Dog!

I have been thinking of dogs, how Koreans eat dogs(especially in the summertime) and how I don't like that one bit.
My Korean guy told me that the Jindoo dog------->
is the only type of dog that is not allowed to be eaten, since it's their "national dog". The Jindoo is suppose to "be the smartest and the most loyal dog to their master"(yes, that explains the personality of most dogs, don't ya think).
In Korea, I was shown the Dog Meat Restaurants and their signage. I didn't feel remotely impressed.

I have heard that the way inwhich the dgos are "killed" in Korea is very far from humane and actually quite evil.
Who could kill a dog by violently beating it? Dogs are cool, their eyes show emotions and they like people...they are our friends.

My Korean guy is from a very poor family. He said that he had a pet dog once when he was young. He loved having a pet dog and it was his best friend. One night, he came home from school and couldn't find the dog. He then found out that the meal sitting before him was his beloved pet.
No wonder this guy has serious issues.

Hankerchiefs are hygenic? Whaaaa?

I found the English radio station online called "Arirang Radio," from Korea. It's a government run radio station. I was pretty excited about it last week when I first found it. Now, I find it a bit boring, as the hosts inwhich I have listened to seem pretty young and inexperienced. They usually talk about really boring, uninteresting things. For example, they were asking each other "how do you stay cool when it's hot outside" and continued to list things for a good 5 minutes. Another mind nummingly dull one was  "what's your plans for the weekend", and then his guest answered "I like to drink beer..ha ha". How can this dull and thoughtless banter be presented as a radio program? It's not even remotely entertaining. Could this entire show be scripted? There's no way...it's just too boring! Maybe I just haven't found the host on the station to listen to..there seems to be a lot of different shows during the day and I have not listened to each one yet.

Yesterday, the last thing that I heard on this station was something very idiotic. It was a public service announcement that went on for a good minute. It's message started with talking about Korea's natural resources. It discussed how the land should be protected and respected. Then it went on to shockingly discuss how hand towel and using washroom hand dryers are "wasting the natural resources". To protect the environment, people should "bring and use their own hankerchief!" OH WOW! You have got to be joking!! How can a government body tell people that this! Reusing a dirty, over-used nose rag is going to save the environment! What about the health of the nation?! How is drying one's freshly washed hands on a boogery rag going help anyone? Nonsense. I am speechless at this twisted type of logic. It does not compute.