To Trust or Not to Trust?

When I was in Seoul, I hooked up with a guy that I met online. We had been emailing back and forth for some time, and the emails were pretty normal...things about everyday life, common interests, . There wasn't any talk about sex, or money or nothing. He just seemed like a thinker, well educated, compassionate...I know, he could have been acting, I know! I said it like it is...I don't have anything and am an unemployed student. Was it risky to actually meet someone I have never met before in a strange country? Absolutely. I really listened to my gut prior to doing so, not that my gut would help if I got in trouble. It just SEEMED like the right thing to do at the time. Have you ever had that feeling to do something outside your comfort zone? Not that I am superficial, but his picture was SOO HANDSOME...which was one of the main deciding factors of meeting him. He was the best looking guy that I have seen online, ever!

Luckily, things turned out better than I could have ever imagined. He was kind, smart, normal...but a bit shorter than he said in his email(not that it mattered so much to me, because shorter guys are OK for me).
I discovered that his English was not anything like his emails, which always presented pretty flawless English. He did mention that he uses a translator to understand the full content of my emails but I had no idea that he really didn't understand that much English. I think he understood maybe 30% of what I said to him during the visit...which did cause more than a few misunderstanding.

As time has gone on with distance now separating us and multitudes of emails were exchanged, I wonder if trust should given to him or not. Lately, I have been thinking a bit more cautiously. Sure, he fires out the "I love yous" and all the nicety-nice things that girls love to hear via email, but there's some big holes. Huge holes that I can see now that time has exposed.
     For example, I was thinking about how I saw a picture of a baby on his keychain and a ring around his neck. I recently had a chat with a Korean guy here in Toronto through a friend, and his "ring around his neck" was his wedding ring. But strangely, my guy gave the ring around his neck to me...he said he "found it"?  When I saw the baby picture on my guy's keychain, he said it was his nephew. I later asked how old his nephew was, and he said he was 8? Very confusing...was the keychain not his, meaning that the car wasn't his and maybe his relatives or does that mean that he has a baby that he hasn't told me about? He did say that he really loves his nephew...plus, when people have kids pictures, they give these pics to everyone they know(those packages give way too many pictures). He swore that he was single. How can I know? Why was is that when he got a phone call when we were together, he had to take it privately...I have no idea what he's saying in Korean, so why wou ld it matter? And the latest event that I have analyzed to death is why he doesn't answer my phone calls. I didn't usually call him, but lately had been dying to hear his voice. I called, answering machine. I called a dozen occassions later and no answer...ringing and ringing. I have a phone card so it's cheap and no big deal. I emailed him and asked him on at least 5 occasions WHEN I could call so he can pick it up...no answer. On the last email, he said that he cancelled his phone some time ago and doesn't have another one yet. And get this, he said his reason for cancelling is because I don't call him...???? Yes, giant RED FLAG. Hmm, maybe he could have mentioned that he cancelled is phone when he cancelled it. Was this email an error in English...is he getting bolder and not using his translator?

Anyway, putting all this together, it really looks like he's a married guy with a kid. Truth hurts, but how can I really know? Actions speak louder than words, right?

Just go and teach already!

Over the years, there has been a number of things that have held me back from teaching in Korea. As a fresh grad, I was ready, willing and stoked about going.
I married young and was married at that time. Things weren't going that well with the relationship. At that time, I thought that it's better to stay in town and I'd decline the offer. Don't get me wrong, I still had support from my spouse at the time, but hesitant support. I was soo scared of the unknown. Scared of what I'd lose, not thinking of what I could gain. I had not travelled on my own at that time and could only think of the bad things...fear of the "what ifs". I wasn't raised with the most optimistic parents and my Dad was very parinoid. Unfortunately, I take after my Dad in that respect.

The next time I had the urge to teach overseas, I applied to Nova in Japan. I was super hyped and well on my way with my Visa process. I even went to school with one of the head teachers there and wouldn't be alone. I was heavily involved with another guy at the time, who was also very supportive. My excuse this time was that I didn't have the funds required, as they wanted the teacher to have $1500 in pocket before going. My guy said he would lend me the money too. Again, when it was time to make final arrangements, I declined, even after sending over my contract to Japan with my diploma. The problem again was that I was "IN LOVE" , worrying about the future and the possible collapse of my so "in love" relationship, unsure of what the other side of the work would hold AGAIN. In retrospect, I really can't believe that I didn't go to that one.

My lasted round of "wanting to go and teach" started last year. I wanted to do something with myself that would make a difference to others. I love children and wanted to work with them. Again, I ran into recruiters with contracts that were extremely unclear. I would ask the recruiter to clarify a point, and then I never receive a reply. I must have given the impression that I was " a troublemaker" to them, where in reality, I just wanted clarification. The next recruiters, 2 of them, lost interest in me when they found out that I had kids. My last attempt was just last month, but then life got in the way when one of my parents almost died of a GI emergency. Strangely, after that event, I found out that the school was on a few blacklists. Is it just a coincidence that such an emergency occurred at just the exact time that I was going to mail out my Visa documents? Uncanny, isn't it.
In regards to my a life threatening illness, what if I had to fly back for a funeral? I have read some horror stories in blogs from teachers about schools not allowing the teacher to leave the school to attend their own parent's funeral! How crueul is that! How could they continue to teach at the school without that major blow affecting their performance and attitude toward the management?

So, in summary, the main reasons that haven't been able to get to Korea to teach is because of a) being "IN LOVE"...guys, that seems to be my, and a lot of other girls' "raison d'etre" b) fear of the unknown c)having kids and being a burden to potential employers d)wanting to know full information regarding the contract with the school, which seems to be impossible for the recruiters to get answers for...plus, I am sure they have many, many other potential teachers who will sign the contract without question(so why spend extra time with my file) and lastely d)life' unpredictable circumstances that can happen to anyone at anytime.

Japanese Eye Candy

There's something about a guy who puts a lot of effort into themselves...nice look, colonge, effort on hair, effort on dress and confidence. Wow. Not that I don't enjoy the "natural" /the rough and rugged look. I like to look at great looking guys.
But I am picky...most of what I find "good looking" lately has been East Asian guys.

I just about lost my mind when I learned about Japan's Hosts Clubs and immediately got a hold of the CD "The Great Happiness Space". The movie was a sociologist real look at what the Host club world is all about which went behind the scences to show the real emotions of the staff and the clients. It was really a great documentary and eye opening documentary.

So now, when I drool over the pictures on the website posting the glamour shots of the Japanese hosts advertising their wares(http://www.host2.jp/closeup/index.html), I can now think twice about their exterior beauty and can see beyond it and imagine that behind the beauty, there is pain.

Bidets are cool...and refreshing...

"Bidets" were one of the most welcome sights for me in Seoul. One greeted me upon my arrival to my hotel room in Seoul. It's not the European type which stand seperate from the toilet. This is a funky, electronic toilet seat with a seat warmer, water control adjustments and many other controls, such as temperature, angle of water jet and a host of others I couldn't figure out. My frst attempt to use it was worrisome, as I couldn't turn the water jet off and it soaked the bathroom...all the instructions were in Korean, which I can't read.
Afterwards, I was so happy to see these units. I was elated to see one in the restaurant toilet inwhich I spent a good 1 1/2 hours in after getting food poisioning there. Somehow, being sick is much easier when you have a bidet to keep you company.

"the Oscar" play some good Rock, Korea does Rock!

07/30/2010 Korea Gig Guide in Hongdae Zoo

Time: 8:00pm. Admission: 10,000 won (1 free drink). Sound Smith, Twinkle Star, The Oscar

If anyone likes rock and is in Seoul, go to this show! I saw "the Oscar" and they were really fantastic...they have A LOT of energy and talent.
Mind you, the format for these concerts are totally different than in Canada...each band plays about 5 songs and the bar shuts down quite early compared to Canada.
If you go, you will not be dissapointed...and you'll get a free beer!
Sigh, if I was in Seoul, I'd be there. Korea does rock, the K-pop is just an illusion to fool the masses...

"Colder than a Witches Tit"

Believe it or not, that was one of my Mother's favorite expression...one of her many expressions that we would grow up hearing...thanks for your sensitivity and watching your language around children, Mom. I always hated it. What if the witch was a white witch, a Wiccan...she would be warm hearted and I am sure that her body would be warm too?

Anyway, I am thinking of that expression since I was trying to think of an expression to describe the atmosphere and reception that I got as a female tourist in Seoul. Since that expression was programmed into the deep recesses of my mind, it came up.

In Seoul, I spent a day just walking around by myself. I was pretty much invisible.
I was staying in in the Gangnam area and just walked about 2 hours from my hotel. I walked through the fashion district and wanted to see if I could reach the mountain in the distance, since it didn't look very far and I like to walk. I walked and walked and passed many people...students, business people, a handsome care lot attendant that I had to say "anneyang hasseyo" to(and actually got one back...ahhh).
I walked up past the turn-off for Co-Ex, passed many apartments with busses loaded with children going to their after school programs. I walked around a small, backstreet market around the Gaepo-dong starion, then headed back toward the hotel.
The area was really nice...underneath the underpass there was a recreation trail where people were exercising, well kept apartments and a nearby moutain. I could really handle living there...a mountain, recreation trails, fresh air...a subway station "right there".
My walk back included a stop at the Hyuandi store foodcourt for some Juke and then walked back in the pouring rain, where my trendy paper Hyuandi shopping bag got soaked broke open, spilling my recently shopped items on the sidewalk.
On my return to the hotel, no one at reception even looked up from there work or even looked surprised as I was carrying an armload of soaked boxes and dripping puddles of water through the foyer.

So for the most part, no Seoulite really extended themselves to me that day, even when my shopping bad broke. Were they cold? Well, they weren't "warm and friendly", that's for sure...but I've been to the East Coast of Canada and have been spoiled there by otherworldly hospitality. But of course, I didn't really go out of my way to interact too much either. I think that my big city is pretty much like that too...I don't smile and wave at all the tourists because there are just too many of them.
But come on, the hotel staff should be friendly...they just weren't. It was like "oh no, single female in a room...she's diseased...don't look, it's Medusa!". Hotel staff should at least be friendly...how the hell did they get the job in the first place?

First Post

Hi, there. Welcome to my ramblings.

I am a Canadian gal with no specific "culture". I am a 3rd generation Canadian with eastern euro roots. I am not one of the Canadians who grew up celebrating their culture. My parents have no ethnic traditions that they passed on to us kids. Tim Hortons, the mall, Turkey and cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving and Christmas is considered 'tradition' for my family. How sad. But hey, that's how we were raised. That's why I think I am international...I tend to respect, admire and envy all the other cultures here in my big city around me.

I went to Seoul this past spring and fell in love with it. I had a week off from school and said "screw it, I'm sick of my life's crap and I'm going". I just looked on Expedia, whipped out my credit card, then BAM...I was ready to travel, BABY! I also fell inlove with someone there which made me love the place even more.

I have wanted to teach in Korea since I finished University way back when. I have always wanted to go and teach there. I think there has been 3 occassions where I had a recruiter find a place for me but then I eventually backed out. Am I a chicken? Did all the postings on Dave's ESL scare me too much? Am I not as international as I believe me to be????

To be continued....