Plain Big Meanies in Korean Society

My friend in Korea is short. Let's say 5'6, and that's being generous. So what's the big deal, right? People come and all shapes and sizes...that's what makes the world go 'round. That's why I love Canada, because wherever you go, you see all types of people and there aren't people otherse standing around pointing fingers and saying "oh...look at THAT person...they are so _____". Sure, there are some a-hole who might say something rude and redneck out loud when someone doesn't fit the impossible image of Hollywood or other unacheivable media images. In Korea, being a short male was apparently similar to a social death sentence.

In Seoul, it was was a HUGE shock. In general, they are obsessed with appearance, and not only in regards to fashion. I found out that people stared at people who weren't skeleton thin. Even my friend would stop and stare and say "look at that". I found that shocking and childish. I'm no lightweight and could just imagine what people were thinking of me. I rationalized it that people were soo poor in recent past, that they didn't have enough food to eat so this concenpt of "thin is wonderful" must have stuck with them. Plus, my friend was "food crazy". He would talk about food with such passion. I'm a foodie, but the lust for food that this guy had was prettty crazy . He could describe meals in his imagination with a crazy, glazed over look in his eyes. To him, the concept of "all you can eat seafood buffets" like it was heaven...apparently he had never been to one and that was his ultimate "food goal". It was pretty crazy...I felt a lot of guilt as I have been eating chinese food buffets and mainstream buffets all my life(I was just at an "all you can eat sushi" place last night). I then found out that he grew up in a very poor environment. I asked about his childhood and he said all that he can remember as a youngster was that he "cried alot because there wasn't enough food". Holy Shit! I felt bad. In my family, we always had food...it was something that I always took for granted growing up....that's when I developed my love for daily chocolate cake!

I asked why eveyone seemed to accept plastic surgery. The answer I got was that society was so competitive that everyone wanted to get any type of edge they could. Then my guy asked me why I didn't have the mole on my face removed by plastic surgery yet? I was shocked, as I never that that the mole detracted too much from my appearance...I rather liked it as it made me a bit unique, part of my identifiable physical markings that may be required to recognize my body one day. I explained that the mole was part of me and that it's OK not to have a perfect complection. I was given a shrug in response.

Ok, here's where I present "the biggie". The biggie, that left me totally speechless and feeling unbelievably horrible was this...my guy was beaten by his peers, classmate AND TEACHERS because he was a short and thin male until his university years. I didn't want to pry too much, but even with the limited information he shared made me  feel physically ill. He suffered so much  just for being short. He had no protection, not even from his teachers. He tried to find an excuse, blaming that he didn't have enough nutrition growing up to grow tall and strong. I felt terrible. I tried to console him but I'm not a therapist...what could I say? All I could give is a hug, say "I am so sorry that this happened to you" and lend an ear. All I could think of is Canada in this day and age there are soo many ways that we try to protect the children from bullying and abuse...public service announcments for The Kids Help Phone, rules for teacher-student contact, law enforcement visiting parents who have reportedly abused their kids and taking them into custody if required and the general public reporting beatings of children in public places.

MY GOD, how can Korea, such an advanced and industrialized country, be sooooo backwards? Why bother with the technology, the plastic surgery, the high standards in education if  there is no basic respect and compassion for people, especially the most vulnerable?

No wonder my guy lied on his online profile and said he was 5'9.....

Words That Usually Don't Go Together

I just saw this image upon a website while I was searching for images of frowing older Korean men for my last enty. It is a gem as the header was " There is a particularly handsome homeless man in China."

Here's a bit of the content of the blog:


"And people are FREAKING OUT about it.


Web forum locals in China have dubbed the sultry street walker “Brother Sharp”, apparently with reference to his hauntingly good looks and snappy avant garde dressing style."

I believe that there could be good-looking people in all walks of life. Usually, the last thing that I appraise of a homeless person is their looks.

Hopefully with all this attention, this guy might gain some favour with someone who has the power and influence to pull him out of his poverty and help him get back on his feet again.

You Know, it's funny....

No disrepect , Rev. Sun Myung Moon, I just needed a male Korean frowny face

In Korea, I noticed that the most Korean men over 45 had a very stern and grumpy personality. I never had any luck with taxi drivers or shop keepers even remotely cracking a smile or even interested in me as a consumer...only when I was inquiring about a $100 bottle of Camus from one of the vendors. Why was it that my Korean guy could get information from them so easily, even get a smile...mind you, it took a lot of gestures and bowing on his behalf, but he still got a good reply. So, I generalized  that older generation Korean men have an angry attitude. I don't usually do that, as I like to give people a fair go to prove themselves, but after seeing so much evidence, I couldn't conclude that the opposite was true. I didn't even encounter 1 friendly, older guy in Seoul from the thousands of older guys in Seoul which ran across my path in Seoul!

Then in my TESL class this week, my teacher said that her worst case teaching scenerio was with an older Korean student whom she grouped together with a younger Japanese student. The topic was "discuss you best and worse vacations". I know you can guess what happened....the older Korean told the Japanese student that visiting Japan was his absolute worse vacation and did not restrain his opinion about the terrible feelings he had about Japan and that Japanese people are no good. My teacher said that she listened in horror, as the older Korean student continued to raise his voice about the topic while berating the poor, innocent Japanese language student, who sat in shock as the downward spiral of his good times at english language school in Toronto. The teacher said that she did her best to redirect the class and carry on but was soo shocked at how someone could be so rude and indignant toward another student that she couldn't regroup.

Nooo! How terrible. There goes another balloon bursted in my defense for South Korea. How can someone  NOT KNOW that one should keep their opinion to themselves, that this is Canada, and that everyone from around the world is equally welcome here. How could someone be that clueless and insensitive.

The more I am finding out about various Korean temperments and attitudes, the less I find that I am liking the idea to go there again, actually.

You Lucky Dog!

I have been thinking of dogs, how Koreans eat dogs(especially in the summertime) and how I don't like that one bit.
My Korean guy told me that the Jindoo dog------->
is the only type of dog that is not allowed to be eaten, since it's their "national dog". The Jindoo is suppose to "be the smartest and the most loyal dog to their master"(yes, that explains the personality of most dogs, don't ya think).
In Korea, I was shown the Dog Meat Restaurants and their signage. I didn't feel remotely impressed.

I have heard that the way inwhich the dgos are "killed" in Korea is very far from humane and actually quite evil.
Who could kill a dog by violently beating it? Dogs are cool, their eyes show emotions and they like people...they are our friends.

My Korean guy is from a very poor family. He said that he had a pet dog once when he was young. He loved having a pet dog and it was his best friend. One night, he came home from school and couldn't find the dog. He then found out that the meal sitting before him was his beloved pet.
No wonder this guy has serious issues.

Hankerchiefs are hygenic? Whaaaa?

I found the English radio station online called "Arirang Radio," from Korea. It's a government run radio station. I was pretty excited about it last week when I first found it. Now, I find it a bit boring, as the hosts inwhich I have listened to seem pretty young and inexperienced. They usually talk about really boring, uninteresting things. For example, they were asking each other "how do you stay cool when it's hot outside" and continued to list things for a good 5 minutes. Another mind nummingly dull one was  "what's your plans for the weekend", and then his guest answered "I like to drink beer..ha ha". How can this dull and thoughtless banter be presented as a radio program? It's not even remotely entertaining. Could this entire show be scripted? There's no way...it's just too boring! Maybe I just haven't found the host on the station to listen to..there seems to be a lot of different shows during the day and I have not listened to each one yet.

Yesterday, the last thing that I heard on this station was something very idiotic. It was a public service announcement that went on for a good minute. It's message started with talking about Korea's natural resources. It discussed how the land should be protected and respected. Then it went on to shockingly discuss how hand towel and using washroom hand dryers are "wasting the natural resources". To protect the environment, people should "bring and use their own hankerchief!" OH WOW! You have got to be joking!! How can a government body tell people that this! Reusing a dirty, over-used nose rag is going to save the environment! What about the health of the nation?! How is drying one's freshly washed hands on a boogery rag going help anyone? Nonsense. I am speechless at this twisted type of logic. It does not compute.

What About Holiday Days?

I am reading all these postings for teaching jobs in Korea and notice that the number of sick days allowed is rarely mentioned. Why is that? From what I heard, teachers often get sick soon after their arrival to Korea...sometimes very sick. Mentioning sick days when advertising the contract details would be a huge selling point for me. What happens when one exceeds their sick days and is still sick? So confusing.

I am a walking disaster when it comes to travelling. I always get a sick stomach and a cold almost instantly upon arrival in a foreign country. It's the good ol' Canadian cleanliness, I think. Plus, I grew up eating the typical "meat and potatoes" diet, without any spices except for salt and pepper. 

International Marriage vs Mental and Financial Health

I would be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind that my Korean guy is especially interested in me as I may be "the ticket" out of Korea. He has voiced his disappointment with the Korean system many times, even prior to meeting him in his emails. When I met him, I heard laundry lists of how his morals, viewpoints and aspirations aren't being met in Korea, despite his love for his country. He is a one of those political types where laws, policy making and where the powers fall short are his favorite thing to rant about. I do not follow politics and have a hard time understanding how one can lose sleep over something I can't directly control.

When it comes to marriage for Canadians, how can they trust people that they marry overseas? When the couple comes back to Canada, the foreign bride/groom is "home free" and automatically given Canadian status where the Canadian spouse is financially responsible for the person for 3 years, even if the marriage doesn't last a day in Canada. I've seen it...I live in a big city. I have a friend who married to leave her country and come to Canada then divorced weeks afterward. I also have a friend who married someone overseas, brought her to Canada and just now was presented with a $23 K bill from the government for the 3 years she tallied up on being on social assistance after divorcing him.

There's no guarantee that any marriage will last. But thinking about the risks of marrying overseas, it's huge.
I admit that Canada is awesome, and I can completely understand how people in another country that was overcrowded and lacked social services would likely look to get out through marriage...it way be the only way out. But what about us starry eyed Canadians, who on the most part and friendly and straight forward, trusting and "nice"? Are we destined to be screwed over...have the wool pulled over our eyes by a sexy, foreign stranger who is business savvy(especially in Korea, where working unfathomable hours are a way of survival),willing and able to "play the part" and pretend that we are the only one for them? Sure, true love happens...I'm not a total pessimist. I just wonder how the hell are we suppose to know what is "true love and destiny" and what is just really great acting? Someone "in love" is in an altered mental state and can be fooled sooo easily...

Stay Alive by Yoon Band

Holy, that's a great track...from the YB vs RRM mini-album, which I believe was just released last month(?). Yoon Band's lead singer(Yoon Do Hyun) is unbelievable. ...he can sing ballads and has the power to deliver strong angst when needed. His voice is sweet, tone perfect yet powerful. "Stay Alive" does have a lot of U2ish element but yet remains distinctly different.

Compare the studio version to the live version on u-Tube...they are both un-frickin' believable(I put them up on the blog on the u-tube channel indicator, so you can just click there, at least when it's working).
Yoon Band's singer's English pronuciation is right on target plus he can pull it off live. There are few vocalists who can do this.

Watching the live video makes me chuckle...I was expecting to see the image of a typical North American rock  fan in leather, black t-shirts, the "hair" and billows of smoke from people smokin' weed, ink work everywhere but instead, there are thousands of orderly, multi-coloured glow sticks. I could just imagine owners of those glow sticks were thousands of fashionably and well dressed girls, in high-collared shirts(don't show them boobies), mini-skirts and "respectable" heeled shoes...I am sure there weren't any sterotypical "rocker" chicks in that crowd.

In the live video clip, I love Yoon Do Hyun's new hair cut...very sexy...he has all the right moves...no awkward moments! Plus the video shows the drummer ,Kim Jin Won,  who I just drool over everytime I see the band's photo...please excuse the volumous puddles of liquid flowing out of the computer...it's just my saliva...

Fighting leads to defending K-Pop?

I have had a number of email fights with my Korean guy. An email fight with someone who speaks English is uncomfortable enough but when you add someone who translates almost every English sentence through an electronic translator, you've got real trouble and confusion for both parties.
So far, we have had 2 blow outs. I am waiting for the 3rd any day now in response to my last email.

I would have to say, the most obvious quality in my guy's fight email is fire! He is angry and very hot tempered. And yes, his attitude does prove to be true to the "angry Korean male" sterotype. Unlike a disagreement with a fellow Canadian who would just concentrate on the topic he would bring in his nationalistic pride and his IQ into the picture. Who would involve these 2 irrelivent points into a disagreement that has nothing to do with either topic?
Here's a few classics:

'Do you think that you know(have) knowledges or common senses about all around the world more than me?'

'In Korea, we enter the college(university) over 90% students after the graduate high school.
Korean elementary school children study until 10 p.m. and Korean High school students study at their school until 12 a.m.Do you know why?We do to win others, to survive in the keen competition world.
We study to win Japan, to win America. Have you ever study to survive?But we do.'


'Do you know why Korean B-Boy dance team always win a No.1 prize at the World's dance contest?

Because they dance risk their life.
( I saw that what they said on the newspaper, "We dance risk our life, so we can victory".)'

See what I mean? The issue will never get solved. There is never an apology. There is always an inclusion of this statement ,
"And now, I don't trust you any more."
This one appears so much, I swear it's cut and pasted into the fight email.

So the lesson that I have learned is to pick and choose my battles with him. There are some things that can't be expressed very well through emails. Many things are better discussed face to face to get the other facial expressions involved....as well as having an English Korean dictionary handy and a lot of paper to write/ reword the topic so he really understands what we're talking about.