My friend in Korea is short. Let's say 5'6, and that's being generous. So what's the big deal, right? People come and all shapes and sizes...that's what makes the world go 'round. That's why I love Canada, because wherever you go, you see all types of people and there aren't people otherse standing around pointing fingers and saying "oh...look at THAT person...they are so _____". Sure, there are some a-hole who might say something rude and redneck out loud when someone doesn't fit the impossible image of Hollywood or other unacheivable media images. In Korea, being a short male was apparently similar to a social death sentence.
In Seoul, it was was a HUGE shock. In general, they are obsessed with appearance, and not only in regards to fashion. I found out that people stared at people who weren't skeleton thin. Even my friend would stop and stare and say "look at that". I found that shocking and childish. I'm no lightweight and could just imagine what people were thinking of me. I rationalized it that people were soo poor in recent past, that they didn't have enough food to eat so this concenpt of "thin is wonderful" must have stuck with them. Plus, my friend was "food crazy". He would talk about food with such passion. I'm a foodie, but the lust for food that this guy had was prettty crazy . He could describe meals in his imagination with a crazy, glazed over look in his eyes. To him, the concept of "all you can eat seafood buffets" like it was heaven...apparently he had never been to one and that was his ultimate "food goal". It was pretty crazy...I felt a lot of guilt as I have been eating chinese food buffets and mainstream buffets all my life(I was just at an "all you can eat sushi" place last night). I then found out that he grew up in a very poor environment. I asked about his childhood and he said all that he can remember as a youngster was that he "cried alot because there wasn't enough food". Holy Shit! I felt bad. In my family, we always had food...it was something that I always took for granted growing up....that's when I developed my love for daily chocolate cake!
I asked why eveyone seemed to accept plastic surgery. The answer I got was that society was so competitive that everyone wanted to get any type of edge they could. Then my guy asked me why I didn't have the mole on my face removed by plastic surgery yet? I was shocked, as I never that that the mole detracted too much from my appearance...I rather liked it as it made me a bit unique, part of my identifiable physical markings that may be required to recognize my body one day. I explained that the mole was part of me and that it's OK not to have a perfect complection. I was given a shrug in response.
Ok, here's where I present "the biggie". The biggie, that left me totally speechless and feeling unbelievably horrible was this...my guy was beaten by his peers, classmate AND TEACHERS because he was a short and thin male until his university years. I didn't want to pry too much, but even with the limited information he shared made me feel physically ill. He suffered so much just for being short. He had no protection, not even from his teachers. He tried to find an excuse, blaming that he didn't have enough nutrition growing up to grow tall and strong. I felt terrible. I tried to console him but I'm not a therapist...what could I say? All I could give is a hug, say "I am so sorry that this happened to you" and lend an ear. All I could think of is Canada in this day and age there are soo many ways that we try to protect the children from bullying and abuse...public service announcments for The Kids Help Phone, rules for teacher-student contact, law enforcement visiting parents who have reportedly abused their kids and taking them into custody if required and the general public reporting beatings of children in public places.
MY GOD, how can Korea, such an advanced and industrialized country, be sooooo backwards? Why bother with the technology, the plastic surgery, the high standards in education if there is no basic respect and compassion for people, especially the most vulnerable?
No wonder my guy lied on his online profile and said he was 5'9.....
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