Sometimes, I get very tired of relating to others. It's very exhausting...both emailing regularly and talking face to face with someone. Right now, the worst is in "romantic" or "potentially romantic" situations, especially with Korean guys.
The worst thing is that I have a lot of inside information from bloggers about the attitudes behaviours of Korea guys that they have encoutered while living in Korea. This infomation is always in my mind and inhibits my regualar spontanaiety when I try to think of topics to talk about. The second worse is what about the attitudes and behavious of younger Korean women. I am not trying to be like them and never will. But I can't help but wonder if the "cute-sy" and childish behaviour is something that Korean guys expect. I am the furthest from cutesy, coy, kittenish...however you want to describe it. Somedays, I am so tomboy that I wonder how many people may speculate that I am a biker dyke(not that there is anything wrong with that...
I am a supporters of peoples' choices and the sexuality of their choice).
I am not fancy, I am polite and pleasant but will tell it like it is when I have to. From trial and error, my limited experience with Korean guys shows that they don't like hearing the uncut, unedited truth about reality, especially if it has to do with their misbehaviour...they do not have the spirit of generosity with apologies or admitting their mistakes.
One of the best things about getting older is that I realize that I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not. Sure, I might lose a few potential mates along the way, but hey, I've got to be me regardless of how good looking, intelligent and charming someone is and how much I would be thrilled to be included in their life. Because isn't a relationship really about what goes on inside a person and not about who they "pretend to be"?
